Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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