I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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