My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
