You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Are we still banned from the library?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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