I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
