I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
