I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
