Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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