totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
