hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize