Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize