Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Actions speak louder than pants.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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