Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
