I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
