I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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