she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My vagina just recognized that song.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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