It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
