We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
