I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
