fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
