Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
