Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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