What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize