Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
