masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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