I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
