I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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