Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
