Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
