Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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