We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
