best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
