She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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