next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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