I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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