i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
