so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
