actually, I'm a sock model
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
