he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There's always time for handjobs
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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