I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
