if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
