found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
