yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
