We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
