Whod you bang
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
