She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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