hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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