Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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