i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
