After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What a dumb baby whore.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize