Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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