Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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