i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
