i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
