Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Bring me that man meat
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize