Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
