Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
