Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize