There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
40s are totally the cure
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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