Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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