Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
