we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
