we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
